If I were elected Prime Minister tomorrow, I would reopen every aborted coal mine, plunder the 's oil and frack the hell out of Lancashire.
The only reason the above sounds anything like extreme is because this once serious country has decided itself suited to unserious politicians who are more concerned with the opinions of sad hippies bearing handmade placards than with the security and prosperity of this nation.
What these politicians don't realise is that nothing will ever be good enough for these types. Even if the mad Net Zero 2030 dream is realised, there'll be something else for them to latch onto and proclaim that the end is nigh.
They also don't realise, or care, that there are more important things than re-election.
Our politicians think in five-year terms. They think about how to secure power the next time around. Nobody wants to be associated with greater levels of pollution from coal mining, they think that green politics are a vaguely good thing and they want to be seen as nice people.
But in posturing as virtuous, they have created a crisis in this country. While pretending to be alarmed at the mini-quakes can cause (quakes within range of tremors coal mines caused in our recent history) they made us dependent upon other nations.
Not only has this left Britain with less control over its destiny, it meant that we were simply offshoring pollution to another part of the world, having zero impact on the climate change we're told will one day result in mass rape (we have 's co-founder Roger Hallam to thank for that particular over-reaction).
It still contributed to global emissions, as the coal we imported prior to the end of September didn't arrive courtesy of a Star Trek-style transporter.
Now, I'm not particularly apoplectic about contributing to global emissions. That's not because I don't believe in problematic climate change, it's because I don't think we're facing armageddon.
I also think that in the long-term we can secure an entirely renewable energy network. The pursuit of that is the one thing that I agree with on. It's how we get there that we disagree about. The seriousness with which this Net Zero 2030 zealot approaches energy policy was exemplified by his jokey ukulele cover of 's 'Blowin' in the Wing'.
But if he wants to one day get serious, the Government badly needs to invest in nuclear. The reason we are not doing this on the scale that we should is because self-serving politicians fear being likened to Mr Burns while pictured next to a less-than-photogenic plant.
That's not good enough. Politicians must serve this country before anything else. That means not playing the nice guy (and it really is only playing) and instead giving us and future generations energy security.
Sure, they'll have to stomach the fact that this might mean their investment one day makes a prime minister from the enemy camp's life easier, but this country is more important than their pride and petty rivalries.
I've no idea how long it would take to become a nuclear nation and I'm open to that power being complemented by other, fluffier renewables that don't cause crusty conspiracy theorists to melt down. But nuclear is the ultimate renewable.
While we're figuring out how to get there, we should ditch Net Zero posturing and use every fossil fuel that is available to us. Not only would this create jobs and bring temporary meaning back to the gutted parts of the country that nobody wants to talk about, it would provide us with cheaper energy for decades, improving quality of life greatly, save for some extra pollution. I'm inclined to take that hit for the sake of our country's future.
The alternative, it seems to me, is to have, at best, expensive energy, because importing costs money. If you want to see how bad relying on imports can be, consider the crisis that gripped the when invaded . And perhaps consider that among the nations to currently supply the UK is Qatar, that lovely nation that's so welcoming it houses terrorists. Should the country which invented and exported Parliamentary democracy really be relying on such a degenerate power?
Successive governments have thrown away our security and increased our cost of living. Sir promised a different kind of politics.
So, if Sir Keir is interested, I take this opportunity to urge the Labour Government to exploit our domestic supply of fossil fuels, invest in nuclear energy, and encourage future governments to phase out those fossil fuels once we have the security of the ultimate renewable. Better that than posturing in the hope that you appear human enough to win another election.
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