Kelsey Parker breaks silence on baby loss with heartbreaking admission

Kelsey Parker is "taking each day as it comes" as she opens up for the first time about the loss of her baby Phoenix. The podcast host and widow of The Wanted's Tom Parker sadly announced her third child was born stillborn at 39 weeks in June.

She had looked forward to welcoming her first child with partner Will Lindsay, who she found love with two years after Tom's tragic death from an inoperable brain tumor in 2022. After announcing she was pregnant in January, five months later, Kelsey broke the devastating news that the little boy who they had named Phoenix, was stillborn. A bereft Kelsey took time away from social media and from work.

Speaking out in her first interview since the tragedy,Kelsey said: "I didn't think I'd be living a relived experience, first losing Tom and now losing Phoenix.

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"But I think with any grief and loss, you have to take each day as it come and work through it." About one in every 250 births results in a stillbirth, according to the NHS.

Kelsey is mum to children Aurelia, six, and Bodhi, four, with The Wanted singer, and now the family have now experienced death again with their younger sibling.

"For the kids, it just breaks my heart for them because obviously we wanted the happy ever after and to have Phoenix but that didn't pan out for us," Kelsey says.

The mum said when it came to breaking the sad news to Aurelia and Bodhi so soon after they'd lost their father, she used her first encounter with grief to guide her with the latest heartbreak. "I spoke about it like I did with Tom, I just told them the truth.

"I think that's all you can do with your children, in anything you're going through, be honest. Because I think people underestimate their children and what their children can cope with. Children have little ears and they listen to a lot of conversations."

While filming her documentary, Kelsey Parker: Life After Tom, the mum met a family who lost their dad to suicide. "The children said they felt so shut out because all the adults kept coming and having conversations in rooms and shutting the children out and I think they felt isolated. Whereas I don't want my children to feel like that, they are very involved in the conversations."

Kelsey revealed losing their dad Tom actually helped Aurelia and Bodhi grieve Phoenix. "I think for them it actually makes it easier because they've gone through loss, they understand what death is.

"We're sort of almost like the Addams Family because we've gone though so much death and darkness. The children are very aware.

"Aurelia likes to tell people that her dad's died and her brother's died. She will openly say it, but it's other people's reactions. They can't cope with how honest and open we are.

"But it's a fact of life, we are all going to die that is one thing guaranteed. We're going to be born and we're going die." Kelsey has received the love and support from her family during the devastating time, and been supported by Tom's parents who she remains close with.

"Noreen and Nige, Tom's mum and dad, have literally been there for me every day since. We were absolutely devastated. I call Noreen all the time, we always talk.

"We're going through grief again." Noreen had shared her blessings when Kelsey became pregnant with Phoenix. "I knew she would [be ok with her having another child] because she wants me to be happy," said Kelsey.

"She wants her grandchildren to be happy, that's all we want after going through something so tragic. She's just there for me and she's a massive, massive support.

"We spoke to each other every day since losing Phoenix and she was just as devastated as as every family member because she wanted that happiness for me and the kids."

Kelsey decided to announce Phoenix's death with an emotional and touching poem, which was titled: "For Phoenix, Born Sleeping, Forever Loved."

It read: "The world grew quiet as you arrived. So loved, so longed for, yet not alive. Our precious boy, our angel light. Born with wings, took silent flight.

"We named you Phoenix, brave and bright. A soul of love, of warmth and light. Though we never heard you cry, you'll live in hearts that won't ask why."

Kelsey's poem for her late son concluded: "No breath you drew, no eyes to see. Still, you mean everything to me. You'll journey with us, softly near. In every sigh, in every tear."

Sharing her decision to post the poem, Kelsey said she was feeling 'raw' about the loss but wanted to be honest about what had happened.

"I knew everyone was going to be so devastated for me because the messages I've had. [People say] 'how can you go through this again? You've lost the love of your life, now you're going through this'."

Kelsey still finds grief in the public eye hard, but there are some aspects that add comfort. "People know on a public level what I've been through so if I had lost Phoenix and had to go and do the school run and people didn't know, I think that would be really hard because people would be saying 'where's the baby'."

Kelsey has decided to slowly return to work as she navigates her grief. She has teamed up with Virgin Media O2 and Hubbub for a campaign aiming to get people to revisit memories trapped in old phones, so the device can be donated to someone who needs it.

"Work gets me through hard times," Kelsey shared. "Some people don't like work, I love work. I am trying to take it slowly, ease myself back in."

She has been supported by her Mum's the Word podcast co-host Georgia Jones during her break away. "Georgia has actually been a massive support and she's messaging me each week and checking in and making sure I'm okay," Kelsey shared.

She also threw herself and her kids into routine following Phoenix's death, something she is finding harder now it is the school summer break.

Sharing the reason behind her tough decision, Kelsey confessed: "I think that was important for people to see me at the school and for the kids to see that you have to be strong and you have to be brave however tough life is.

"You have to be brave and show up and that's what I try and do. Show up for my children so they can look at me and go, you know what, my mummy's very strong. She will get us through anything."

Yet, not everyday is straight forward in grief. "It's the same when I lost Tom, you have really, really s**t days that you actually can't get out of bed and you think, am I ever going to get through this? But I have two children that need me. You can literally be one second laughing, the next minute crying. Grief hits you different times."

Kelsey Parker is supporting Virgin Media O2 and Hubbub’s Community Calling initiative to encourage people to donate unwanted smartphones to those who need them. Through Community Calling – an initiative set up to tackle digital exclusion – unused, working devices can be rehomed to someone in need. More information can be found at https://hubbub.org.uk/community-calling.

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